"Are your knees just really excited?" Child aged 4

I think I now factor the effects of Cerebral Palsy into my life much more than I ever have. One of the downsides of mainstream schooling for me was that I learnt to ignore my body to fit in. As a consequence, I spent the majority of my teens making myself look and feel as "normal" as possible so I ignored the back pain from sitting for hours, my added fatigue and would rarely utter a word to the outside world about my frustrations. But you can't do this forever...

I've always always wanted to teach and I put a lot of dogged determination into making this dream a reality but I didn't really think about how working life would work for me. I didn't want to consider that being disabled would affect my ability to work.  I just wanted to do it, to be a class teacher and help children learn. It was only during my dreadful third year placement that I realised that some employers would only see a wheelchair and judge accordingly. I also realised how gruelling a teacher's life can be and that working 60 hours a week would and did take its toll. So I left university with very little confidence about obtaining and maintaining a teaching job.

I started volunteering in local schools part-time the year that I finished my degree and I noticed that part-time hours were agreeing with my body and therefore my body was agreeing with me more than it did when I was studying and would push myself beyond my limits. I came to the conclusion that I was very glad that I'd pushed myself through school and during my degree but that this was now adult life and I couldn't keep ignoring what my body needed.

The decision to work part-time didn't come easily to me, it meant I had to bid farewell to the idea of being a class teacher and had to give in to the fact that I don't have an able-bodied body nor do I have the stamina of an able-bodied person. That's hard when you're so used to fighting and proving yourself in a mainstream world but I knew I was making the right choice. I needed to protect the longevity of my health and I didn't want to burn out two years down the line. I also wanted to work independently but my independence level comes at a price. It means increased muscle pain and tiredness but it's important to me so I do it. Working part-time means that I can be independent at work in the mornings but come home at lunchtime and give myself the support and rest that I need in the afternoons. I still have times when I feel sad about not teaching full-time, but  I know that I'm still teaching and working with children. I know that I'm making my legs happy and I know that this way I have enough energy to see my friends and have a social life. It's the right balance for me.