The graduate

I have a lot to process at the moment, I can't really believe I've done it (the getting a degree I mean) and I have no idea what my next steps are. I guess these feelings are 'normal' of most new graduates. I often have a hard time separating what feelings are 'normal' and those brought on by my situation because they are so interlinked and all of the 'normal' feelings are so magnified by the extra needs/considerations that I have. Though I do not always want to look at my achievements through a disabled lens, I know that I have overcome a lot of difficulties to get a degree and I should let myself acknowledge that. I think back to my visits to open days and being told that primary education was a very intense course, my year long struggle with social services to get funding for my help in which I was told that I should stop drinking tea so that I wouldn't need the toilet so much and the negative attitudes I dealt with on placement this year and I feel quite proud that I've done it. There is also a massive part of me that wants to go and shove my degree in all of those people's faces (that's the stubborn part of me coming out). I am very very determined and ultimately that has pulled me through but I've also really struggled with it and at times wanted to give up.  Nobody can be unaffected by people's reactions especially if they're negative and this year in particular has really shattered my confidence. It has been a very real struggle and I now need time off to process it and recover from the stress of it all. I'm looking forward to getting me back.