The curse of planning, planning and more planning

Everything becomes a process when you are disabled. I quite often forget that I plan every movement in my day in a lot more detail than most people and that I schedule my needs for when they best fit other peoples timetables. I don't always think about the fact that this is not a normal way to go about your day but when I'm faced with the reality of the fact that I have adapted to my situation it is very painful. I am very good at planning and organising but this is mostly because I cannot afford not to be. I cannot simply get a drink when I am thirsty or go to the loo when I need it because I can't do these things by myself. I often feel like I live on other peoples time and therefore when I can get help I plan for all of my needs to be met within that time because there may not be another opportunity. I live with an enormous amount of fear that I will be in situations where I cannot get my needs met as I know that this is a vulnerability that I have. I, like anyone, feel a need for spontaneity but this is hard to achieve when your life is divided into P.A shifts. I always feel like I cannot undo my mistakes. By that I mean that if I leave my shoes in the middle of the floor I can't pick them up later. This is incredibly limiting.  I do not have the reassurance that self-reliant people have. I really crave to know what that must be like.